Saturday, January 22, 2005|02:39 p.m.|
»hey,sorry,been a month na...hehehe...well,the vacation was uhh...too short...and then,there was this games and gadgets convention(a.k.a. G2Con) at the mall last january 7,8,and 9...i went on the 8th...and i made discoveries over there...i found out about Pristontale,then i also met other AC members...
»awwwwwww man,i couldn't say much right now...anyway before i finish this up...since i gotta do something,i just wanna say i joined a new BBS,called Gamer Zaibatsu(GZ for short)...that's all...til next time?^_^
current.music:Intuition[Jewel]
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current.moods:woah..just intimidated...1 month..@_@
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Monday, December 20, 2004|06:15 p.m.|
»sorry i've been quite mopey for a while...and it's been almost a month since i last updated...heehee...thanks to everybody who posted in the tagboard...when i get the time,i'll try to make the link thing...and i'll make it look nice(i hope...)
»maybe it was just KARMA,i meant what happened to me...to tell you the truth,i've been such a naughty girl and became slightly a social climber that i became too ambitious and left the ones who actually wanted to be friends with me.(gomen nasai minna-san,you know who you are)
»by the way,probably i'm on recovery at the ICU unit(uhh,just a figure of speech...) and the doctor said i'll be fine(yay!)...anyway,i'll be searching for my destiny with these extremely nice people(who actually,i hanged out with before i became such a naughty social climber >_<)
»and also,i got this fanfic thing..i hope i can finish this(not like the other stories i made which ended up unfinished)...click here(http://www.fanfiction.net/~ayscrim/)...thank you...ü
current.music:Ni Yao De Ai [Penny Dai(i think)]
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current.moods:i'm gonna be ok....^^
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Sunday, November 28, 2004|03:15 p.m.|
»i've found out my family has been spying on me...i wish i didn't have to be part of this so-called family...they don't know what i'm going through and have no intention of finding out the problems i have.guess what,i saw this word file in my folder.it had every transcript of my messages in friendster!wtf,i wish i was never born instead of living here.i can't trust them and they can't trust me,so why shouldn't they go and ask me to get adopted somewhere else?i believe i'm a HUMAN BEING and not a guinea pig born to be their SLAVE..i wish they'd figure that out...or don't they know about PRIVACY???have they never been taught in school what PRIVACY is?can't they ever learn it?there's little hope of being happy in this family again,since everything here has been plastic from the start.i wish i could be adopted into somebody else's family.any takers?any other family is better than here.
current.music:My Prerogative[Britney Spears]
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current.moods:i didn't choose my family..i was forced to have them..
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Friday, November 26, 2004|04:33 p.m.|
»today,when the substitute teacher(who was never happy to meet my class) went to proctor for my absent teacher,she got mad at me for something i didn't do.i wasn't chatting with my classmates,i was just asking for a piece of paper.i also realized i was the only one in the front row of the class.my supposed to be "seatmate" went to sit beside my other classmate,making me,a loner.a while before that,during physical ed.(i'm just physically cursed,especially with stilts), i was left alone again because everybody else had someone to talk to and be with.now i feel like i'm going back to grade school,where i was a total loner,and LOSER.i didn't mind being a loner back then but now,i'm growing up.i can't stand being lonely anymore since i'm human,and no human should live alone.i don't know why i'm left alone though.am i not human?do i NOT have a soul?
»it was such a relief to get back home...and after all,it's a friday.there's no classes on monday too,which makes me feel so relieved.more and more i want to stay at home.i don't care if i'm a loner at home,but when i'm somewhere else,i feel like i'm waiting to die while i'm alone,doing nothing.i was reading my notebook all alone when loneliness went back into my mind...i felt like my notes are just empty words...words made by people who aren't alone...those who have people to talk to and to go with anytime.not much understand what i'm going through.i can't have full time friends at school,and i can't have friends outside school...my family thinks they can be my friends,but they're already family,so that's different.i wonder how i'm gonna survive for the rest of my life as a LONER...
current.music:Powerless [Nelly Furtado]
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current.moods:sheesh...was i born to be a loner?
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Wednesday, November 17, 2004|07:51 p.m.|
»i've been bored more often these days...i don't know why but i feel so lost and so,just bored.i've been sighing much for no reason at all and have been idle most of the time.i hope i get through this crisis soon.i feel like an empty shell...
»anyway,disregarding the fact that i have the "boredom crisis",things have been going quite smoothly(i hope,since i feel like i'm becoming a guinea pig because i feel like someone's watching over me all the time)...i'm getting used to be "alone",i've been singing loudly at home these days too,which means i've been practicing unconsciously,and computer class,well,it's just the same old programming way of torture(i don't know how the heck i'm gonna survive)...so then,i guess i got nothing much more to say right now...^^
current.music:Shadow[Ashlee Simpson]
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current.moods:disappointed...again...
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Wednesday, November 3, 2004|07:57 p.m.|
»it's human nature to be moody,right?i mean if everybody felt the same way forever,it wouldn't feel so human.it would feel so boring and uniform,as if everything was run by robots or something.anyway,i guess difference is normal,but sometimes adjusting to it suddenly is stressful.i have a new home economics teacher for the rest of the semester,and like other teachers,she's different from everybody else.her style is pretty new to me,and i'm a bit scared.now i understand why my classmates were going to the bathroom a lot before the new teacher arrived.
»another thing about teachers,they're human too.sometimes i could imagine them at the mall,shopping and stuff,just like the rest of us.it's just like we have our job,they have theirs.after those tiring stuff,everybody's yearning to relax.if students are happy when the school day's cancelled,teachers may feel the same way.it's just that they are paid to go to school and help others study,that's why sometimes they want school days,to earn more.
»why am i talking about teachers so much?it's because i was shocked today to find out some of my teachers enjoy anime too,especially my math teacher,who enjoys reading manga,and loves "Full Metal Alchemist".yeah,i confess that i was shocked,but it wasn't just me.my seatmate knew that before me,but i'm sure her hands got cold too.when i told my other friend,her hands got cold.i'm sure it was the feeling of shock because teachers usually get reputation for being a killjoy and loves watching news and stuff and has no time for anime and stuff like that.i was wrong!they enjoy it as much as the next person,and that's proof that they're just like everybody else,living their life,and coincidentally,got a job as a teacher...
current.music:Pieces Of Me[Ashlee Simpson]
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current.moods:things are going sudden..i feel so slow
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Friday, October 22, 2004|05:46 p.m.|
»the dance is getting closer.today,there was a general rehearsal at school.i thought the others were chicken,but then this other group,had the judges and audience at the palm of their hands.they're really gonna be tough to beat,since last year they also won...it would take a miracle.even if my group and I tried our best,it was kinda oblivious to the other dancers.the costume was kinda like a mess,and the colors were all wrong.i wonder what would turn out of it?
»everything is so tense and i feel so uneasy.i have to do tons of things and take too many responsibilities i don't know if i should still sleep.reminds me,my head hurts BADLY.sometimes these things make me wonder if my group can still win,and if hardship was being forced to me on purpose...
current.music:Cross My Heart [Ayashi No Ceres 2nd Ending Theme]
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current.moods:very...very uncomfortable
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Wednesday, October 20, 2004|05:41 p.m.|
»hi!been a long time again,hasn't it?anyway,i couldn't log on since there were the exams(no comment on my grades..T-T) and the dance thing is close coming(i got "stiff legs"...XD) and my band(i'm a vocalist,yay!) is gonna have practices before the audition on november 27...
»my life is so stressful,mind you...it's been hectic the past few weeks,and judgement day is gonna be on sunday since the dance production's gonna be in the morning...so there..'til next time!^^
current.music:Wag Na Wag Mong Sasabihin[Kitchie Nadal]
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current.moods:i feel so tired and stressed...24 hours a day is NOT enough!
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Friday, October 1, 2004|05:21 p.m.|
»today,the STC robotics team went to Alabang Town Center to watch the final finals of the Robotics Olympiad 2004[4 members didn't go]...we're not joining yet because we just started...so we'll join next year.boys dominated the olympiad leaving girls to about 5%...there were many Philippine Science High Schools that joined[yeah,same name...different branches o0]...
»i got to know the others better,which is good because it's a team,not a solo flight...i hope that i can bond with them more and the Robotics Team could develop more[anyway,it's just the beginning! *wink*]
current.music:Overdrive[Katy Rose]
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current.moods:happy!!!
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Friday, September 17, 2004|10:46 a.m.|
»i'm 14 starting last friday..and i'm so happy now that i'm a year older than last year...XD
»good news:i got in the robotics thing!cool!
»sorry i'm so lazy to write more...i'm just too busy these days...rain check?
current.music:Head Over Feet [Alanis Morissette]
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current.moods:yay!!!i'm 14 yrs.old now!!!XD
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Thursday, September 2, 2004|09:04 a.m.|
»sometimes days like these feel like crap...i'm in the states(again) but i don't look human,i left a lot of stuff,and i don't relate to anybody in my family.it's like a big family reunion back here and there's big pizza,but is there anything nice here?oh sure they would force me to like it but no way i'm happy...i was forced too many times in my life i've probably become slightly paranoid,and now i'm also overprotected.everybody here is having fun talking to each other while i'm left alone and nothing to do since the pc here doesn't have d3d{direct 3d}...T-T
»the whole month will probably be like hell if this keeps on going...i'd rather go to school even on sundays than have to deal with this since i'm missing a lot(i hope that person misses me too)...and i hope this month ends quickly.september is such a long month,i hope it doesn't last..
current.music:I Miss You [Blink 182]
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current.moods:this day sucks...so does having OLD relatives
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Tuesday, August 31, 2004|11:21 p.m.|
She wants to wake up from her dreams
She has to live again
Out of the fantasies that took her soul away
That fooled her, she thought it was real
She must run away from cloud number nine
And go back down to what’s real
Nothing but an ordinary girl
Living in a world full of strangers
Whatever she does she keeps coming back
To the clouds up above, she’s captivated
But there’s nothing in the world that can truly stop her
‘Coz life ain’t that interesting
But she doesn’t want to end her precious life
She cannot waste those cherished memories
For as small as they seem, they’re her happiest days
‘Coz back then she wasn’t alone
Sometimes she’s left hopeless and alone
And crying ‘coz she’s hurt
The pain inside makes her numb
But her dreams make her feel alive
How ironic can her feeling go
Her heart cannot decide
But this is just a little thought
In eternity’s never ending tale
current.music:Angel [The Corrs]
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current.moods:leaving in 3 and ˝ hours..*sigh*
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Sunday, August 22, 2004|01:11 p.m.|
Raindrops patter everywhere
To ground, to roof, or to dry hair
But deep inside there’s more to that
A hidden meaning dwells
A life lost, a life won
Memories made, memories fade
Rain may not stay forever
But rain’s never-ending elegy won’t be erased
Even just a little drizzle cleanses the soul
It can wash away the pain
But the elegy’s tune haunts me so
I want the lingering sadness to go
My dear joyful days, why did you go away
You went away and the rain washed every trace
The memories begin to fade
You had to keep it a secret from me
You couldn’t say goodbye
But I guess you did, I weep as the heavens cry
As you fade more and more each passing day
I wait for the sweet but sad reminder
The trill of the never-ending elegy
Reminds me you were really there
And not just a dream
The rain may fall and wash away the pain
But my memories of you will never fade away
current.music:Torete [moonstar 88]
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current.moods:i feel so happy about last night...i want to repeat yesterday all over!
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Saturday, August 14, 2004|09:49 p.m.|
»The exams are finally over!First,we had religion and social science on thursday,then math and filipino,and finally,this morning,the science and english exams.Too bad my grades are gonna pull down(I just know I'm gonna fail!)...
»I'll be leaving soon...T-T...september's coming fast!But september's not the only thing coming fast.I feel like I'm changing rapidly...I guess I'm officially in the transition period,or maybe I'm just starting to get all psycho.../swt
current.music:Our Lips Are Sealed [Haylie and Hilary Duff]
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current.moods:don't know...just tired
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Tuesday, July 27, 2004|05:49 p.m.|
»hey!miss me?well,a lot has happened to me recently.my math's a lot better,i had my first EB(weeee) last saturday,and i guess i'm gonna have my first cosplay this saturday(i hope!)...my friend Jumel updates me on his story and i got carried away so i told my friends too!(Jumel,if you're reading this,well,yeah...good for you..ü)
»too bad i couldn't post the other big thing that's happening...sorry guys!it's ok i hope...but anyways,Cardcaptor Sakura's gonna show on Animax on August 5.i can't wait!ü
current.music:So Real [Mandy Moore]
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current.moods:i'm back!
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Wednesday, July 14, 2004|06:56 p.m.|
»It's the rainy season again.It's actually very exciting especially when the announcer begins to tell them classes are suspended.Some announcers though,could be a bit uneasy because they know they're gonna have a headache once they hear tonsa screams coming from the people who heard the news.But I guess it's not that lucky in high school.I mean I'll have to wait for signal number 2 to appear before I can enjoy resting at home and relaxing to my heart's content(at least for that day).
»3 days ago,i got a haircut.Now my once long hair is reduced to one that reaches the shoulders(well probably a bit longer than that).anyways,my classmates think it's a good style for me(hopefully...phew!).but they haven't seen the posters yet,have they?i hope if ever someone from my class sees the posters i held up with my all-trusty magic tape,they'll think it's a good match like my hair..(:P)
»i've been wondering why we have all these thoughts and it's just so wonderful and strange because we're so many in the world and we have different thoughts in our heads at the same time,so if you're the leading role,what does that make me?or vice versa.it's so strange,don't you think?i hope i can sleep tonight because i might be thinking about that all night long...ü
current.music:Why Can't I [Liz Phair]
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current.moods:confident...(slight)
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Wednesday, June 30, 2004|07:41 p.m.|
»I woke up this morning just the same as the other days.The morning was pretty much boring except for the fact that the weather people raised Signal #1.Too bad I'm already in high school,so school goes on.Surprisingly,today was quite happy,though some classmates didn't get to go to school because of the rain or something.
»I can't really remember when I had this strange feeling last.But I felt like I was most alive when the rain was pouring hard and the strong wind made the branches dance and leaves detach.I wished that I could've enjoyed it somewhere else than school though.But even if I had to experience the storm in the classroom,I felt alive and so did some of the activities.I didn't even feel that bored in the most boring lessons I've had this week!
»Oh right,tomorrow,I'll be going to the tutor after school.I don't even know what to feel since I think everything's happening too fast.And because things happen too fast and sometimes at the wrong time,I couldn't watch Spiderman 2 today...After all it's a school night.Even if I couldn't make it,I think the storm's enough entertainment for today...ü
current.music:Hero [Spiderman OST]
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current.moods:pretty much apathetic...
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Monday, June 28, 2004|04:50 p.m.|
»This morning was slightly gloomy.The clouds covered the morning sky,turning it grayish.I rushed so that I won't miss the ceremony,but luckily I made it without any major problems.My right eye felt like it was being stung by bees but it also went well soon enough.The mass though,was honestly too long.And at the end,the HS Department saw Patricia Evangelista,a famous alumni of my school,recite her award-winning speech though it was revised a bit.
»But things changed as break time started.I felt like I was alone,though I was with 4 of my friends going around the campus.I couldn't relate to what they were talking about.I was there,trying to laugh hard like they did,but inside,I knew I was an outcast.I felt like that every recess,lunch break,and even dismissal.I really tried hard to fit in but I was still out of their league,and probably I was out of every group's league.Then there's dismissal time.I try hard to fix my things after the bell rung and I look for companions to gate 3.Though the people that allowed me to walk with them did,it was always the same thing.I couldn't relate,but I tried really hard.I was also out of their league.When I arrive at gate 3,I go and look for my fetcher real hard.I always wanted to go home as fast as I could.I think of myself as hopeless when I couldn't find them.I wait for my fetcher anxiously.Then I feel relieved when I jump in the car.My smile then loses it's shine when I couldn't get into the front seat.But still,there is no place like home where I can goof off and not worry much about strangers talking about me and being out of people's leagues.Well,probably home isn't that comfortable with others taking up your private space,but I can't think of a better paradise in everyday life than this.
current.music:Everybody's Fool [Evanescence]
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current.moods:satisfied but i can't relate to others...
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Saturday, June 19, 2004|08:32 p.m.|
»hi!this morning was wonderful!i went to the Folk Arts Theatre to go to the RWC Nationals!we arrived 9 am and waited for about 1 hour and 30 minutes to get in!not to mention that it was so hot then some random drizzles would come too...but it was all worth it when i got a poporing doll free!i wuv it so much!i went there with angeli,her bro,and her cuz.i got a tattoo and another,and watched 2 games.i watched Rebirth[Chaos] win over Armageddon[Fenrir] and Ninja[Iris] win over Armed n' Loaded[Odin]!today was terribly fine!
»i have pics of it too...oh and i also got to play duel monsters with a demo guy...i won!that was cool...should i play or not play?that is the question...ü
current.music:Let Me Be With You [Chobits]
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current.moods:what a poring-ful day!
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Tuesday, June 15, 2004|06:56 p.m.|
»guess what,i'm wearing contacts now!and i wrote another poem...but probably i won't post it,unless not for now.i also joined the Theresian Magazine tryouts for writer but probably i won't be able to do anything about it since i wasn't born to be a writer...at least a good one.but my dad isn't discouraged about it though.he said that at least i tried and i shouldn't lose hope.and even if i couldn't get in the staff,i could always send them poems or some short literature of my own so that they could consider adding it to the -ish!those were truly words of inspiration...but in a more specific and un-general way!ü
»business as usual in the school.nothing much has changed,just the teachers,the curriculum,the classroom,and probably a couple of classmates.i just hope something else other than homework comes up in school.it's the second week and tons have been already given!i wish i could get through all of this.too bad december isn't coming soon yet.at least it's not hot weather,and christmas is very exciting.you meet family members or friends,and you eat christmas food and the holidays are still kinda full packed with homework but you're given more time and you'll have more fun...ü
»where are the other posts?try checking the archives ok?<(=",=)>
current.music:Elevation [U2]
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current.moods:i've changed...
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